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Pocket Watch
It was still just after 6 in the evening, but the surroundings had already gotten dark. Occasionally, the headlights of passing cars illuminated the city road, weaving between buildings. The cheap leather shoes made a sound as they rubbed against the asphalt underneath. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
My toes, which had been covered in cold sweat just a moment ago, are starting to get cold. I shifted my bag to my left hand and blew air on my already-cold right hand. My skin - affected by the winter dryness - was covered in cracks.
I looked back, as if to reaffirm the reality that had just been thrust at me a short while ago. Light is still leaking from the windows of buildings. These days, there are no companies that finish their work at the scheduled time. So, what led me to leave my office so early?
My worries only deepened on one hand but, I felt lighter. No, it would be better to call it, feeling refreshed. To think that I would get fired in less than a month.
The reason is also not that complicated. First is my status. Unlike regular employees, there are usually no guarantees for temporary workers. I had previously worked on a job site for a one-year contract. I mainly worked to do system maintenance for government and municipal offices, but once the busy period at the start of the fiscal year passed, I was quickly laid off. Anticipating that possibility, I had been doing my work properly so they wouldn’t be taking advantage of me.
But this time, on top of that, I had also made a slight mistake. I found the job site’s leader’s mistake and I pointed that out. And since then, that leader has been gunning me for it, and I ended up being kicked out of the job site.
Even if I work hard, I won’t get a reward. I’m used to it already. Anger at being treated unfairly and worry for my life in the future had made my palms sweat uncontrollably until just a moment ago, but now that it’s over I can finally accept it for what it is
This is also a common occurrence in a salaryman’s life. However, would it be better to make use of my strength if I had to endure life anyway? I couldn’t help but wonder if there was still a place I could return to as a chef. Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve been unemployed. But they won’t need extra workers at this time of the year.
Even so, it’s such a bad time to get fired. Job openings stop during the year-end and New Year’s holidays.
I take out a silver pocket watch from my pocket and check the time. Eleven past six. I should be able to return home after seven.
In any case, there is no use in staying here. I started walking.
I walk through the city at night while exhaling white breath. With the end of the year approaching, the surroundings are illuminated with bright and beautiful lights. For Japanese people, Christmas may be something like a pre-year-end and a new year holiday. It would be easier to imagine if you think of the feeling of freedom on Friday night. In fact, that is the most fun part.
But that has no meaning for me. I had also planned to work in Christmas Eve, but I ended up having free time like this. Even if I’m going out to play, I don’t have money to squander, and there is no close friend to hang out together. I have long ago lost contact with my friends from my student days, and for someone who changes jobs frequently like me, I have no colleagues either. As for a girlfriend, wife, or children, that’s out of the question.
I wouldn’t say that I’m a person without a single relative in this world. When I was a child, I did receive presents, albeit just a few. If I remember correctly, I received a set of cheap-looking, set of colored pencils for Christmas when I was 7 years old. And I had a cake too. Friends from the same elementary school also visited. It is one of the few happy memories in my life.
But, for the new year - which is a week after that -, I don’t know what to say. Forget about receiving a New Year’s gift, I don’t even have enough to eat. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
To sum it up, it goes like this. My father is a man who resorts to violence and likes to gamble, moreover, he has the habit of cheating. The day before the New Year’s Eve, my father’s affair was discovered, and there was a huge fight. At first, he looked guilty and embarrassed, but then he quickly fought back and started beating my mother. In the end, he grabs most of the money in the house and goes on a trip to a hot spring by himself.
So, what happened to my mother, me, and my two brothers who were left behind? First, mother took out her anger she couldn’t take it out on him at stuff in the house. She overturned all the osechi meal1 made in advance and smashed them on the floor, and then she threw all the plates in the house against the wall. Once she finally regained a bit of calmness, she left the house by herself. Maybe she runs away back to her parents’ house? The answer is no. Actually, mother has what is called 「A lover」. He is a university student ten years younger than her, living alone in Tokyo. She contacted him by phone, sought comfort, and hurriedly left.
Next, is my older brother. He nimbly brings a chair and drags out a bag of sweets from the shelf. Also, a pet bottle from the refrigerator. After that, he calls a friend’s house. Requesting he wants to stay over to play. And having skillfully persuaded the other person, he wastes no time in quickly leaving the house.
As for the second older brother, who is not good at socializing and has few friends, he took a more prudent approach. After making sure that the older brother had left the house, he started picking up the scattered osechi dishes on the floor. He put them all into a clear plastic bag. But, when I got up and tried to help him, he glared at me with such a horrible look. He has no intention of sharing at all.
My second-oldest brother, who doesn’t trust me.....no, his family climbs the stairs what all the food he has gathered in his hands. At this time of the year, it would be kept well if you put them in the shade on the veranda, even if you don’t have a refrigerator. And he will guard his food in his own room until everything returns to normal. That was not the first time my parents had arguments like that. If that were summer, he would set up his sleeping area in front of the refrigerator. He’s used to it.
The problem is me. Most of the money in the house was kept by my father and the rest went out with my mother. My older brother took out sweets with excellent shelf life. My second-oldest brother monopolizes the remaining food in the house. What I have in abundance are tap water from the faucet, some leftover condiments, and bits of food stuck on the floor.
Why not get out of the house and ask for help from other adults? I’ve done that before. But after I’ve done that, the result is scary. My father thinks that appearance is more important than anything else in society, and I don’t know what kind of punishment will fall on me, it’s impossible to predict. To begin with, it may be my father’s pretension to deliberately invite the kids in the neighborhood to celebrate Christmas grandly a week earlier.
There was also a time when I followed my mother and asked for help. But she completely ignored me because her sweet time with her lover was interrupted. Of course, I was threatened and forbidden to tell the matter to anyone after. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
So, there was no more countermeasure for the situation. At least, as a 7-year-old, I had no idea. My body will get colder even if I drink water and my hunger worsen. So I desperately licked the food left on the floor.
……orange light leaks out from the open bar facing the road. With each step I take, the hustle and bustle draw closer. Men and women - with their faces red from alcohol - are immersed in their conversation. Employees wearing black aprons are moving busily, clearing plates. On the white plate are stir-fried vegetables.....very colorful thanks to the paprika and bell pepper....but have a dull shine from the oil. You could see from just looking at the dish, this place is not as good as it looks. The vegetables are undercooked, and there’s too much oil.
But even those half-baked-looking dishes don’t seem that big of a deal for the drunk customers. What on earth are they talking about anyway? Where could such a thing exist, something that could bring so much joy? I can’t even imagine.
I widened my stride a little.
My parents eventually divorced, but despite all the sacrifices made the situation didn’t get any better. The eldest son stayed with my father while the second oldest brother and me, the youngest, were taken in by my mother. Whichever choice was chosen, I’m sure it must have been a life full of distress but in any case, my mother had no money. Despite that, she didn’t quit smoking and continued going to pachinko. Due to that, I mostly ate cheap instant foods during my growth period. Meanwhile, I made full use of my experience during my childhood years, working hard and doing part-time jobs every day.....in other words, I continued working in the kitchen. If it weren’t for the meals provided at my workplace, I’m sure I would have collapsed due to malnutrition.
Before long, my second-oldest brother started hanging out with bad company. Even though he’s not strong, he got involved in fights, got into drinking even though he can’t drink, and smoked cigarettes while choking on it. And due to his smoking in his bed, he burned his apartment and ended up burning even a few of his belongings, and was forced to move.
Only the elder brother was treated well because he was the eldest son. My father remained the same, and although he was sometimes becoming violent toward my brother, suddenly it looked like he was still valued because he was the heir of the family. He spent a lot of money to send him to a private university and get him to graduate. However, the older brother - who was good at everything like socializing and was fortunate in his place of employment - lacked one crucial talent. He just didn’t have the patience.
Less than 3 years after he started working, he deliberately quit working at the large company he worked at, and jumped into join a group that calls itself a venture company. However, that was just a fake company as they didn’t have a proper revenue base, and to make a long story short, the project soon went bankrupt. The effect of that extended to me as well. As one of the company’s directors was my brother, in the position of the investor, and yet, he didn’t have any money on hand.....so he had no choice but to borrow money from his brother - who was working normally. The amount of money was actually 2 million yen. For me - who was in my early 20’s - that was practically all my savings.
My brother gave up at first and started working normally, but before he could pay off his debt to me, he jumped at another easy chance of making money. That time, I was glad I didn’t have to invest. Unlike me, my brother was the type of person naturally loved by women. While living a life like being half-financed by women, he lived as he pleased, without paying back his debt or taking care of his aging parents who could no longer work. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
One day, my second older brother - whose whereabouts were unknown - came to visit me. Since he didn’t have a place to stay, I let him stay in my house, but a few days later he ran off with all the money I had in my room. That alone would have been fine, but he also took my credit card with him and made a bunch of cash withdrawals without permission. He was then arrested for another charge and is now in jail, but all his debt is now my responsibility. The total amount of debt was 4 million yen. Since interest accrues, I haven’t been able to pay it off in full.
……suddenly, the smell of perfume hits me. A woman with heavy makeup passes by me, making a sharp clicking nose with each step. Although her steps were steady, her upper body skillfully leaned on a large man walking beside her.
As for the man, he is muscular with a broad physique, his clothes make him look like a frivolous person, his face also has an expression that hints at roughness. Incidentally, his hair is short and blonde. And without paying attention to the woman fawning over him, he walked in big strides without looking ahead while fiddling with his mobile phone
Men are men, and women are women. Is this world really full of people like this?
My older brother married a woman who is exceptionally generous with money. And as a result, both my brothers and father started telling me what to do. Meaning, get married quickly. But, it seems like I’m not an attractive guy to women. I’m popular with older women, but that is probably because of my serious and humble personality, not because I’m popular with women. I guess cash dispensers and domestic animals might be valued more. On the other hand, it was completely different with young women.
I was once introduced to someone and went on a date. But, no matter how hard I tried, it showed no result. I bought her expensive bags or accessories whenever she asked, but before I knew it, she didn’t answer my call or reply to my email.
Come to think of it 「she」 never called me You. Always calling me 「Saiki-kun」.
……I came out onto the main street. Once I cross here there is a stairs leading to the subway. Cars passed by accompanied by the sound of tires sliding on the road.
I wonder if it’s because the air is dry? The friction sounds of the car wheels rolling on the asphalt road strangely stuck in my ears. It hasn’t been long since the sun set and I also notice several trucks driving by without their headlights on.
Although I think it is dangerous, but I can’t help imagining that I might also be able to find relief if I were to step in the middle of the intersection. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
It was last year. My mother - who lives separately from me - lives daily in self-indulgence by smoking, drinking, staying up late, and going to the pachinko finally fell ill because she neglected her health. They also found a scirrhus stomach cancer inside her body, and by the time they found it, it was already too late.
And it was my father who was the most miserable among them. Although we had no contact for several years, that day my older brother contacted me, and I went to pick him up. He had lived the way he wanted all his life, but at this point in his life, he began to suffer from dementia.
And dementia is much more pitiful than it looks. I’m sure there must be intense anxiety inside the person experiencing it. But, for the person taking care of them like me, I also had a terrible time taking care of him. Whenever communication didn’t work out well between us, my father would lose his temper. It was normal.....for me to return home and find the place to be messy.
Unable to handle it on my own, I asked for help from my brother, but he refused to help, whether in effort or money. And even if I were to call a caregiver it would cost money. So I’ve been carefully using every trick in the book to do my best to get by over the past year. But, that ended last month.
During the day on a certain weekday, he wandered alone behind the caregiver’s eyes and got hit by a car. I was actually interrogated by my practically unemployed brother in the hospital morgue. Why did I take my eyes off of him?
……the traffic light turned green. I stop daydreaming. And thinking about suicide.
When I think about it, I’m already in my mid-thirties, but I have no lingerie attachment to this life already. But, isn’t that good? My parents have already passed away. I’m also about to fully pay my debt. I see, I have no lover or family, now I can devote myself to things that I like, such as hobbies or finding for reason to keep on living. Even so, there is nothing left that makes me want to die in a hurry. The only thing that matters in this world for the current me, is how to 「get through」 this life. Just that.
Why did I try so hard? Even though I know it’s useless. Maybe, I just wanted to look cool, even a little. Not something anyone would rate, but my own self-respect. For that reason, my originally worthless life became even more miserable. Even if I think that I pulled it off perfectly, from others’ point of view, I probably look like a fool. It’s not uncommon. It’s a common story here in this world.
I take a step to cross the intersection. After I take several steps, I hear a small metallic sound brushing against my ears. Looking down, I saw a small, silver pocket watch rolling on my feet. I should have put it inside my suit’s inner pocket after I looked at the time earlier.....
I bought this at the flea market in Setagaya the other day. It’s a little bit of luxury I can buy with just 2000 yen ($13). Checking the time on a mobile phone is a bit boring. And to begin with, there are sites where it is prohibited to bring or browse my own mobile device on-site during system development and maintenance work.
At the time, it was on a whim that I bought this thing.
Ever since I was a kid, I have loved the story 「The Gift of the Magi」. Well, it’s a common story.
There was a poor husband and wife, and the husband had a treasure, which was a pocket watch. On the other hand, the wife also had a treasure she was proud of which is her beautiful hair. On Christmas night, she thought of giving her husband a present but she didn’t have money so she sold her hair. And of all things, the husband sold his important pocket watch to buy an expensive comb for his wife.
A chain without the pocket watch. And a comb without the hair. Isn’t that ridiculous? I wonder if there is anything else more pointless than that? They each ended up losing their treasures. They are both really foolish. And I, who did my best to look cool, was also not much different. But, why am I drawn to such things? www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
When I saw the worn-out pocket watch, I suddenly remembered those feelings from long ago. So, even though I knew it was an unnecessary luxury at the time, I ended up wanting it.
In any case, it fell from my pocket, so I just have to pick it up. I bent my upper body and ran my fingers across the cold, dry asphalt. At that moment, I heard the sound of an engine approaching.
I suddenly looked up in surprise. A grey bumper of a large truck completely filled my vision.
The next moment, I felt an impact, and everything was painted black. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
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Postscript 2021/09/28
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Author note :
Regarding the total loan limit regulation, I received a comment from a reader, so I'll add some details here. The total loan limit regulation was applied in 2010. This rule sets the maximum amount of debt a person can incur to one-third of their annual income. In this story, You Saiki ends up with a debt of four million yen. If this event took place after the total loan limit regulation was applied, he would need an annual income of 12 million yen. However, the story began in 2015. If we assume Yo Saiki is a real person, 36 years old in December 2015, then if this event happened around the time he was 30, he would not have been restricted by the one-third income limit and could still borrow money.
Furthermore, in the case of credit card fraud, of course, claims can be made. However, if a family member or cohabitant is involved in the fraud, theft insurance will not be helpful. In the end, the person who took out the loan will be liable for repayment, and for the time being, they must pay out of pocket. If they fail to do so, penalties, such as cancellation of the card, will fall on You Saiki, the victim. If the family does not have the ability to pay, even if they win a lawsuit, nothing can be seized, and the debt cannot be recovered. You Saiki's second brother, Tomiyoshi Saiki, is a thug, so he has no ability to pay and ends up in a situation where he has to accept the loss.
TL Note : If I were to describe this web novel, then the aptest would be 'A bit more realistic Isekai', as in, yes there is a cheat but it is a struggle for the MC instead of the usual laidback, harem, easy-mode Isekai, and it's not slow-life type so yeah, prepare yourself...
The family name is 'Saiki'
The names of the characters (I might make mistakes here but Japanese names have multiple valid readings, will keep it this way until the author describes it better :') )
Eldest Son : Saiki Keisei 佐伯 経世
Second Son : Saiki Tomiyoshi 佐伯 富能
Narrator / Third Son : Saiki You 佐伯 陽
1. Osechi, food eaten during New Year's Holiday
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