Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 11

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Gift

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 10

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Rice Gruel And The Warmth Of Human Contact

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 9

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Secret Base

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 8

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The Blazing Silo

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 7

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Sanctuary

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 6

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Author Note :

"This might be kind of gross…

      ⚠ Gore Warning! ⚠

It seems to be really bad, so if you can't handle it, I recommend skipping it. 🙇‍♂️"

TL Note : Really, you can skip after "---" and continue after "---"

Early Afternoon Affair

 After he finished tormenting me as usual, he searched for his usual 「Escape」 again. It was liquor. After finding an earthenware pot hidden behind the cupboard, he left the house with the pot in one hand.

 The man who left the house has brown hair, and the woman who is currently having her physical exercise in the bedroom is also brown. And while I’m at it, the man who is her partner right now, and also all the villagers - as far as I know - have brown hair. With the exception of the elderly with their white hair. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 So, where does my black hair come from I wonder? Whatever the case, it is certain that I am the child of her with a man from somewhere. You would normally think so. And that is certainly not an interesting thought for the husband. That’s also probably why the women in the village looks at me with cold gazes.

 But, there is a possibility that this hair color is not due to the biological father. I jumped down to this world while maintaining a strong image of myself. I naturally had black hair in my previous life so I think that’s probably why my hair became black here as well.

 After a while, the bedroom’s door was opened. I saw two people walking out with weak steps with smiles full of contentment on their faces. And then the woman sees the man off to the front door. After that, her footsteps are coming this way. And here I am, just sitting here soaking wet.

 As soon as she saw me, her expression suddenly warped. She looks visibly annoyed. She briefly shouted something with disgust. At the same time, she gave me a sharp slap. Even if I don’t understand the meaning of the words, I can somehow understand them now. ‘What are you doing, you’ve gotten the room all wet again!’ she probably said something like that. She must think I went somewhere to play and then brought all the dirt and water into the room.

 This is the worst life ever. My previous life was better than this.  I might have had the same experience as a child over there, but it was a good thing since I still have no memories of my past lives.

 So I should probably make good use of my father’s abuse immediately and die a quick death. So I thought so many times, but there is just one regret I can’t let go of.  That psychic ability. It’s possible that the unknown man’s words in that purple world were true. The power 「to cut」 and 「to plunder」.

 I tried to use that ability so many times, imagining all kinds of images, but something like an ‘ability’ has never occurred. Sure enough, I wonder whether that psychic ability exists within me or still haven’t awakened yet. I don’t even know which it is.

 Now, although it is still early, I wonder if my mother is going to prepare dinner. If so then I will finally have my first meal of the day. It’s fine if it’s leftover scraps as long as I can eat it.

 So I thought, but she returned unusually with a change of clothes. I wonder what’s gotten into her. She stripped me of my wet clothes and changed me into dry clothes. Although it has become quite warm from earlier, this is still something to be thankful for. It felt uncomfortable to stay wet, and I didn’t want to catch a cold.

 After she finished changing my clothes, she picked me up and stood up. I should be quite heavy but I guess it’s because she is a farm girl. Still, it’s going to be a bit tough for her if we’re going to the center of the village that was around 100 meters from here.

 She also brings a backpack with her. Only my head is sticking out from that backpack. It’s been since the festival day since I left the house like this. As for things that happened before that.....I can’t quite remember them, but I guess it was about half a year since the last time?

 From our house - which is on a small hill - I can have a view of the village. And the woman walks down the hill step by step. Along the way, I can also see the wheat fields that we manage. It’s probably going to be harvest time. The strong sunlight makes the deep green color of the distant trees shine. Above us is the blue sky and white clouds. In addition, there is the choking smell of the earth and grass. The natural environment here is the only thing I like in this place, but regrettably, the adults around me are the worst. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 We were almost at the village but suddenly, a question came to my mind. There are many occasions for her to leave the house to get necessary items. But, at that time I always stay at home. In that case, where does she want to take me this time?

 No way, is she going to throw me away? I thought it was possible but it feels different this time. If that’s the case, there is probably no need to change my clothes, right. Perhaps on the contrary, she dressed me up only as an afterthought or something? But if it’s like that, then you’d think to at least give me something sweet, and that slap right before we left was also unnecessary

 While I was thinking of such things, she stopped walking before a certain house. This is also a shabby house on the outskirts of the village.

 My mother continues to walk inside the house while calling out something to whoever it is inside. A hoarse voice replied with a rough tone from the back. Looks like it’s fine for now. Maybe she came to a relative’s house? But at least this doesn’t look like her parents’ house. We dropped by at her parents’ house on the festival day and I remember it.

 The inside of the house suddenly became dark. In contrast with the humidity outside, it was pleasantly cold here. There was no sign of anyone here. A sharp, distinct smell hung in the air, a smell that is often found in old people’s houses.

 An obviously ugly, old woman came out with big strides. A lewd smile plays on her lips. Her eyes also have a somewhat feverish air to it. What, kind of person is this? I can’t quite recall. In my previous life, people who had this kind of face are.....that’s right! Solicitor in a busy street. Whispering things like, 'we have a nice girl, 3000 yen for an hour if you come with us right now', the same eyes as those solicitors of a rip-off bar.

 No, no way right? I have no money right now, and neither does my mother. There is nothing more people can scam out of us anymore. I’m sure this old woman is a good-for-nothing but she shouldn’t be my opponent. Actually, right now my mother looks to be making jokes with her in a friendly atmosphere between them. It was such a friendly atmosphere, more than when she visited her parents’ house. I’m sure this woman is probably the one who taught my mother’s bitchy conduct.

 After a while, the old woman’s attention turned toward me. Intentionally bringing me with her to this place, I see, she must have some business with me. From my perspective, this is definitely my first meeting with the other person.

 The old woman approached my face, still with a lewd smile on her face. There is a bad smell. It’s a strong smell like a cigarette’s tar. I turn my face away reflexively, but she grabs my head and forces me to face her.

 The old woman then puts some distance between us and says something to my mother. My mother nods. After that, the old woman took out 3 copper coins from her pocket.  Seeing that, my mother laughs exaggeratedly. With an embarrassed expression on her face, the old woman took out another 2 copper coins, and finally my mother nodded. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Once that’s done, the two of them turned toward me at the same time. Wha, what are you planning on doing.....

 The old woman’s eyes are already bloodshot. I don’t really understand what’s happening but this is bad. Something terrible will definitely happen. What to do. Should I cry out loud? But, no one will probably come and help. This is a small house in the village’s outskirts, so there are probably no other adults in the surroundings.

 My mother has a meaningful smile on her face. There’s no doubt she finds it amusing. In the meantime, the old woman’s arms embrace me.

 She brought me to her bedroom. Although this is still daytime, the old woman closed up the window with a wooden board and lit something for light, something that looked like a firewood. It is dim, but I can still see somewhat.

 In this situation, the old woman approached me while grinning broadly. I wonder what would happen to me? Just when I thought like that.

---

 The old woman’s face covered my vision. I can feel moisture on my lips. And inside my mouth, a tongue that reminds me of an earthworm, persistently crawled around. I finally came to my senses after a few seconds. This old hag, she stole my first kiss! And that’s also counting from my previous life!

 What is this for? If this is, for example, an act to give me a good luck charm or a spell, then it can’t be helped. In the first place, the act of kissing might possibly be different from the act of kissing in my previous life. However, it seems like that’s not the case. Most importantly, I can only see twisted desire in the old woman’s eyes. Even now, she sucked my lips with pichapicha sounds while showering me with feverish gazes.

 I almost got goosebumps from disgust. I want to turn my face away, but the old woman’s firmly locked my head with her arms. Even if that wasn’t the case, she was on top of my as I was facing upwards on top of the bed. A young child who still can’t stand and walk by himself is not someone who can easily be pushed away. 

 The old hag was enjoying my lips for some time, however, she was not satisfied with that. She puts her hands on my clothes while making some sort of a cat-like sounds. Not wanting to let that happen, I desperately grabbed my hem and didn’t let go.

 I clearly understood what she was trying to do. This old hag, she likes a virgin. I can’t believe it. If she wants a young and strong man, then that’s one thing!

 The old hag let go of my body momentarily due to my resistance but the look in her eyes told me she didn’t seem to give up on this yet. She quickly stands up and reach for a jar by the window. She smeared a brown mucus-like thing inside he jar onto her hand and suddenly grabbed my hair with her other hand. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 I failed to pay attention to my head as I was desperately protecting my clothes, and then she suddenly stuck her finger into my nostril. The brown salve was rubbed onto the inside of my nose. At that moment, an indescribable stimulation and burning-like pain shot through my body.

 I suddenly felt my nostrils swell up. I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t help but open my mouth. And then again, a tanned, bonny hand thrusted into my mouth. I choked violently, but she didn’t show any concern for me at all.

 Then, I felt a hand slipping inside my underwear.  Even when I realized what had happened and my body stiffened, it was already too late.  By the time the old woman pulled out her hand, my body was already tormented by the pain of ice and fire.

 Not, good. Let’s run away.

 Thinking like that, I tried to get out of bed. But she grabbed my hair and pulled me back to her. She roughly threw me onto the bed and I lost my strength from the pain. But, the old woman was still merciless. Perhaps it was a punishment for going against her, I was showered with her slap, once, twice, and thrice.

 Her bloodshot eyes looked down at me. However,  I was already gasping for breath. In a hazy state of consciousness, I realized that a dirty had touched my clothes.

 This, this is too awful. I was used as a toy immediately after being born.....

---

 But, my thoughts gradually become tangled and fade away.  The pain I felt was amplified and eventually took away my consciousness.

 When I came to my senses, I was at home. I was lying on the floor, not the bed. And it was already evening.

 Cockroaches are still sticking to the wall of the house as usual. But at this point, I no longer cared about such things.

 I’m hungry. But, I don’t want to eat anything.

 Since then, what has happened to me? What did they do? I didn’t see anything, I also didn’t remember anything. But, the throbbing pain in my private parts tells me. It.....was taken away.

 I wish an earthquake would suddenly strike. A fire would be fine too. Even a flood would be fine. I want this entire village - including me - to be destroyed, killing everyone.

 That’s enough. I want to wake up. If I have this psychic power or whatever. Cut off all ties between me and this world. Not good, huh

The smell of vegetable stew drifts in from the kitchen. Looks like, for the first time in a day, they are finally going to give me something to eat. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 5

Thank you to all Patrons!
Aiji S., Alex, Alexander P., Bakadeathly, Bazsi, Ben I., BigZak, Blackghoul45, Brben, Brili3an, Chocolat, Chowok11, Christian S., Code_Vio, Corey, Daniel B., Daniel L., David G., Deguaro, DKLA, Dragoncamper, Gabriel C.,  Jakers, Jason, Jaycob T., Jealyn L., John V., Jones, Joseph A.,  Kaichu, Kiriaky, Luis D., Luther S., Malinkat, Maverun, Max, Myla, Ograf, Omniamore, operaa, Pao Y., Scott M., Sean D., Shaun, SK, Sniktaw, Soomin B., Taiyou D., Tenkkun, Tim N., TsuTsu, Tuan N., Urko M. M., Will B., William H., X3N0R0X, XxChemical_fire, YMK,  and Z!

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Days Full Of Affection

 Looking back, modern Japan’s house has a clean impression and actually hygienic. The glass windows created a space separate from the outside world while still allowing the room to be bright. There are probably all sorts of materials for the wall but wallpapers are always used so it looks well-ordered and pretty. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 So how about this place? There is only a single small window, but it’s left open even now. It’s almost the time of the year for mosquitoes to start appearing. I actually want to close it, but it’s just simply impossible as I my hands can’t reach it.

 And, this is a house at the edge of a farming village. There is a small forest just right nearby and so there are countless insects that come flying in. Even now, there is an insect that looked like a cockroach on the wall, staying there without moving. I mean, it’s not very noticeable since it blends in with the color of the wall’s wood, but that, that’s definitely a cockroach. 

 But right now, I don’t have the power to change this situation. To begin with, that is not even the time to do that.

 It seems like it’s been a year since I was born in this world. I wasn’t counting each and every day that passed though. There are two things that gave me a clue for that. First, the growing wheat’s appearance.

 The other one, is my birthday. Though I said it was my birthday, it wasn’t celebrated or anything.

 There was a festival in the village a while ago. Though I don’t really understand what the festival was about.  Everyone went to pray at a small shrine during the day. And it seems like there a bonfire in the middle of the village’s square where everyone had a feast together. As for the one-year-old me, I was carried and participated in the beginning of the feast and after that I was left to stay at home.

 And five days after that festival, the three women from before visited our house together. The eldest, an old woman among them, gave a long sermon while holding a hair ornament made of wooden material. I didn’t really understand the meaning of her sermon but occasionally she shouted while pointing at me. Then, the old woman puts the hair ornament in my mother’s hair. After that, the two other women standing behind her handed her a broom and a kitchen knife. Then they walked to the exit of the house, bowed to us, and left.

 At first, I thought they were having arguments with my mother, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. The relationship between my mother and them had always been cold from the start, and even at the last moment of their parting, there was no atmosphere of them having arguments. The old woman’s words sounded insistent, but if I had to say, it was the tone of someone explaining something. As for the hair ornament, or the broom and kitchen knife, the two other women gave us with their gestures, there was something ceremonial in that. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Since then, those women have never visited this house even once. Instead, I seems to have been given a name. My mother and my father will say 「Fals(ファルス)」 whenever they see me. Even the visitors who rarely came to our house called me that name so that is probably my name.

 In short, that’s how it is. The women who supported my mother during the difficult time after childbirth handed back the authority of the household to her after she made it through the year. The infant who could die any moment has grown big enough that he seems to be able to stand and walk now. Although the child is still weak that it’s not strange that he could die any moment, he has escaped from a critical situation for now. And so they gave the child a formal name.

 Incidentally, my growth rate at one year old was actually not very good. In fact, I still can’t stand or walk properly.

 At least, I haven’t eaten enough. As a matter of fact, there is a most pressing issue at hand, that. It’s unavoidable since I was born into a poor farming village, but that is not the only reason.

 First of all, the problem I must mention is my mother. In just a year, she had completely abandoned her sense of responsibility as a mother. She left the house alone without leaving any food behind. And rather than doing farmwork, she simply wandered around to play.

 Wandering around to play? How is it possible to make such a deduction when I’m still a poorly developed 1-year-old who can hardly even go out? No, it’s not a deduction or a guess. I hardly ever leave the house, but I know full well what happened inside this house. To sum up….

 I heard footsteps. I’m not alone. And again

 Light footsteps followed by heavy footsteps. There are two, a man and a woman. One of them is my mother, while the other one is a young man from the village. They start to whisper to each other as soon as they enter the house. On her part, she was smiling broadly.  The man also has a lewd look on his face, looking forward to what’s to come. In a rural village where there is no entertainment, even the courses of activities for dating couples are limited. The two of them didn’t waste any time and headed straight to the bedroom.

 This often happens, and moreover, her partner changes frequently to the point that at first, I thought this was her job. That’s because, apparently, my house is located at the edge of the villagee and both of my parents seem to be outcasts in the village. To make matters worse, when it comes to her husband, he is an outrageous drunkard.  It’s difficult for a woman to manage everything from raising her children to paying for living expenses with a woman’s slender means.....so, I could understand that prostitution was unavoidable. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 However, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Originally, they just tried to get rid of the troublesome middle-aged man who gets violent when drunk with the village’s number one bitch - which is mother - and paired them together. As proof of that, both of my parents received a kind of support.....which was a kind of rein for them.....from their parent’s house and siblings.....and previously, there was a time when my father returned just after my mother brought back a man as usual, which caused quite the big fuss. Perhaps she received some benefits from her sexual relationships but it probably didn’t add to the family’s finances.

 That’s why, I am currently being neglected. I can hear a flirtatious voice coming from the door. Also, the creaking sounds of the worn-out bed. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it, but at least give me a small piece of food to eat.

 In my previous life, I was never blessed with a relationship with the opposite sex. I am still 1 year old, but will I become popular with women in the future? It will still take some time for this small body to experience pleasure, but precisely because I understand it from my knowledge, it makes my frustration even stronger.

 But, whether it’s my frustration or whatnot, this was not the time and place to say such an easygoing thing.

 I couldn’t help but look at the shadow of a large man. What are you doing here, not working when it’s broad daylight?

 The person who showed up unexpectedly was my father. Wearing shabby outerwear, with unkempt hair and an unshaven face. Even though he has a slovenly air about him, only his eyes are sharp and determined. It looks like he already realized what exactly going on the moment he came here after passing through the door that was left open.

 It was terrible at first when he caught her cheating on him. He went on a rampage indiscriminately. He beat his wife so badly that he almost killed her. The lover somehow managed to sneak away and call for help, so he was held down by the villagers in the end. And it seems like he was warned not to act violently anymore.

 However, he was cheated on by his wife right in front of his eyes. In this kind of situation, he should have the moral advantage but he’s a hooligan to begin with and a lazy person so there was no one in the village who took his side. The men might possibly be biased in their judgment because they don’t want to give up their rights to enjoy his wife.

 So, despite his wretched situation, he could only glare at the bedroom’s direction. And there’s me, who can’t move at all while staring at him.

 The best scenario to me right now is for him to silently take some money or liquor from the kitchen and leave. And in such cases, even my mother would feel obliged to let him do that not won’t harshly criticize him for it. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 But, this time, it seems like I was a little unlucky.

 My eyes met his. I flailed my arms and legs trying to escape, but it was too late. He crouched down in front of me and began to speak to me about something, although his tone was gentle. I don’t really understand what he was saying, but it was probably something incredibly foul. Judging from his expression and the nuance, I could guess it somehow.

 I was so terrified I couldn’t say anything as he grabbed the scruff of my outerwear and raised my body. It’s pointless to scream. My mother is currently screaming loudly so I don’t think she will notice a small scream. And even if she notices she won’t be able to do anything.

 He quickly carried me away as he raised me up with one hand. Passing through the front door and walking around to the back of the house. That means, yeah, that’s where we’re going.

 There is a water jug at the back of the house on the opposite side to the bedroom. Water is something important for daily life, whether for coking or washing. But this is a world where there is no tap water. We drew water from the nearby river, but it was such a large water jug.

 The man lightly lifted up the wooden cover.  And then, he put his large hands on both sides of my body. Now, there was no hope I could escape, no matter how much I struggled.

 He brought my head closer to the water jug. The water surface is transparent, without a single ripple. So I could clearly see my face. It was the face of a plump infant.

 I take a slow, deep breath, quietly so it won’t get noticed. But before I could inhale air, my head was thrust into the water.

 At first, there was often direct violence. He would stab my skin with a pointed part of a splintered branch or press red-hot stones into my skin. However, such cruelty that leaves external wounds was immediately discovered. And as expected, even he realized that he should refrain himself to continue doing such acts that would worsen his situation.

 So this is it. Wet clothes will eventually dry after all. And since I’m a 1-year-old infant, I can’t speak to anyone. In other words, he enjoys seeing me struggle in the water right up to the brink of death. It’s quite a good hobby.

 In short, this man has no courage to kill me. I already know that, but still, the possibility is there. And I always try to put on a decent act each time, without overdoing it. In other words, I acted as if I were choking and was about to drown.

 Would it really be fine to entertain him like that, you ask? Since he got a kind of ‘reward’ for his abusive actions, he would probably return to torment again. However, that’s precisely because of that, if I got used to his abuse and didn’t show any reaction whatsoever, it might just provoke him to do more. At that time, it will all be too late.

 And after several rounds of diving practice, I was finally pulled out. At that time - with water dripping onto the water's surface, I saw the reflection of my face. And, I could confirm my own face whether I liked it or not. The reason why I was being abused by this man. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 I have black hair.

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 4

Thank you to all Patrons!
Aiji S., Alex, Alexander P., Bakadeathly, Bazsi, Ben I., BigZak, Blackghoul45, Brben, Brili3an, Chocolat, Chowok11, Christian S., Code_Vio, Corey, Daniel B., Daniel L., David G., Deguaro, DKLA, Dragoncamper, Gabriel C.,  Jakers, Jason, Jaycob T., Jealyn L., John V., Jones, Joseph A.,  Kaichu, Kiriaky, Luis D., Luther S., Malinkat, Maverun, Max, Myla, Ograf, Omniamore, operaa, Pao Y., Scott M., Sean D., Shaun, SK, Sniktaw, Soomin B., Taiyou D., Tenkkun, Tim N., TsuTsu, Tuan N., Urko M. M., Will B., William H., X3N0R0X, XxChemical_fire, YMK,  and Z!

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Start Of Wonderful Countryside Life

Author note : 

"Warning.

This chapter is one of the most graphic in the story, containing highly intense depictions of gore, and in some places, suggestive sexual expressions. Some readers may experience psychological stress.

For those who do not wish to see excessively brutal descriptions directly, I recommend reading the summary instead: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n6359da/3/

Additionally, for those who still choose to proceed, I will include individual warnings before particularly graphic scenes."

 A gentle breeze caresses my cheeks. There is a hint of vibrant humidity and a fresh scent of plants. It feels somewhat nostalgic. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 A small spark of consciousness lit up inside my head. I quickly woke up from my deep sleep due to the stimulations I sensed. Just like a ripple from the center of the pond gradually reaching the shore, a faint awakening slowly spreads throughout my entire brain. I checked the condition of my arms, legs, and eyelids from there.

 It seems like this body is still sleepy. My eyelids feel heavy. No, it’s because I was not properly awake yet. It won’t matter once I wake up. The sunlight already pierces through my eyelids, urging me to wake up.

 I decisively opened my eyes.

 The first thing that caught my eye was the clear, blue sky. Thin white clouds covered the sky, gradually drifting and being blown by the wind. It was a common scenery you can find anywhere, but it never made me so happy.

 Moving my sight diagonally to the left, a farmland spread out over there. The whole surface area is a wheat field. They are still fresh and green but they have grown tall. I wonder when is the harvest time? With each gust of wind blowing - still carrying a slight chill in it - the wheat field gently sways along.

 Nice. A scenery I truly like. Come to think of it, ever since I started living in Tokyo, I never had the chance to come in contact with nature. I want to walk around here a bit.

 Thinking like that, I tried kicking my legs around......eh?

 I can’t move that well.

 First of all, I can’t get up. I can’t stand on my legs.

 It’s the same with my arms. I feel like I've become awfully clumsy. I can’t move as I like and I can’t put any strength into my body.

 I tried to at least sit up, but my head is extremely heavy and I can’t even do that. What, the heck is this?

「××××××××××!」

 I can hear a woman’s voice coming from right above me. It sounds like a foreign language, and I completely have no idea what it means. I lean back and take a look in that direction.

 It was a young woman. This woman is holding me in her arms. But, just how big is she.....no.

 Mustering all my strength, I somehow managed to lift both of my arms. Then, I bring my fingers in front of me.

 It was a baby’s fingers.

「××××××××××」

 The woman smiled while she looked at me.

 Right. I was reincarnated.

 Even so, is this woman my mother, I wonder? She’s too young, all things considered.  Seeing her face alone, she has the charm and allure, she looks strong-willed and frivolous.....according to my previous life’s memories, she has an expression of a woman who likes to mess around. So it’s possible she’s not my mother, maybe her little sister or some other relative.

 As for her appearance, she couldn’t be called wealthy even as a compliment. It’s the same with her clothes, and it might be the same with mine, but the fabric is awfully shabby. From the perspective of someone who was used to the neat textiles of modern Japan, it gave the impression of an ugly and poorly made item. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Moreover, this woman, even though she’s this sexy, is hardly wearing any makeup. There are traces of a tan on her skin. I wonder if she’s a peasant from around here. Her hair color appears to be brown. I’m sure this color must be normal around here.

 There are two things that can be inferred from this information.

 First, the area of the world I reincarnated into has a level of civilization several grades lower than the of present-day Japan. There was no agricultural machine like a tractor to be seen on the farmland or vehicles like cars, nor were there paved roads that looked like they could be used by such vehicles.

 And the family I reincarnated into is possibly a commoner. I can’t completely deny the possibility that the woman holding me is actually not my mother, but a wet nurse or a maid from a wealthy family but even so, I would have wear something beter than this if I were the child of someone with his social status and wealth.

 Meaning, I - who came from modern Japan - moved to a poor countryside and in a situation where I wouldn’t be able to sneak out of it. This is troublesome. I can’t expect to see a convenience store or manga in this world either. What should I look forward to in life then?

 But, it’s not all that bad. For starters, there doesn’t seem to be any problem, although there is a sense of discomfort. The body of my previous life has been worn down due to doing exhausting work over and over again, so being able to reset that is quite satisfying.

 The only thing that bothers me is my eyesight. Generally, newborn babies do not have good vision to see things properly. There’s nothing wrong with my eyeballs but my brain is still not yet developed. With that in mind, I wonder what my current state feels like. My brain might have become a mix of an adult and a child.

 After that is.....

 Right, the important that.

 Just what kind of psychic ability did I gain from that ‘World’s Fragment’?

 Let’s try to use it immediately.

 ……haaaa!

 Nothing happens.

 Or rather, I don’t even know the psychic abilities I acquired.

 Let’s calm down and think about it. I wished for the ability to cut, plunder, and add something to it. So, I should have gotten the ability to cut.

 For example, the cart before me. The wheels are not made of rubber, as it was completely made of wood but....let’s try to cut it in half. Haaa!

 .......there was only a gentle breeze blowing past.

 No, the hurdle was set too high all of a sudden.

 Let’s do something simpler. An old, worn-out rope has been left on the cart. It’s tattered in places, and it looks like it’s going to snap if you pull on it with a bit of force. Let’s try and pull that rope. Haaa!

 ......there wasn’t even a gentle breeze blowing. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Come to think of it, that black haired man said it.

 Although I could get a psychic ability from that World’s Fragment, it won’t necessarily manifest immediately. Although it won’t necessarily manifest, he said that there’s a high probability that I can get something.

 Huh? Isn’t this quite bothersome?

 Let’s say that this World’s Fragment were to come to me 5 years later and grant me an incredible psychic ability. Who is going to tell me about it then?

 Is it that black-haired man? No, that’s impossible. He said that he couldn’t mark me because I jumped down into this world. If that is true, then the only thing he knows is that I have reincarnated into this world. He will be completely clueless about what I look like, where, or what I am doing now.

 In other words, I have to figure out the psychic ability by myself. I wish for the ability to 「Cut」 「Plunder」 and 「Add」 things, but I have to always prepare myself about those abilities, wondering if something related to them will manifest.  But, I really have not the slightest idea in what shape or form those wishes will be realized. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Even if I receive the ability, I don’t know when it will arrive or how to use it, so there’s no way for me to use it. It will be great if I know the trigger or occasion that allowed me to accidentally discover what kind of ability I have or how to use it, but if I don’t have that kind of luck.....I will end up spending the rest of my life just as an ordinary peasant in this obviously poor rural farming area.

 No, but farmer is good, isn’t it? I can work every day while feeling the clean water and air, and also the warmth of the land. It’s not bad. All the peasants will be angry at me if I complain about this condition. It’s just that it’s probably often lacking compared to modern Japan in various ways, and I would have to prepare myself and endure it mentally.

 Goodness. I thought I had properly checked things out before jumping here but it seems like there are a lot of things that escape and slip my mind.

 Perhaps it’s because I had been looking all around. The woman holding me stood up and started walking toward what I assumed to be her wooden house.

 The structure of the house, according to my previous life’s sense, was as expected a Western-style. But still, as the house of a farmer, this house shouldn’t have that much difference in functionality. There is a difference in steps compared to a Japanese-style house, and you enter the house without taking off your shoes; everything else is a matter of outward appearance.

 The large room near the entrance, which also serves as a dining area, was dimly lit. It was obvious, but the windows had no such thing as glass. Sunlight shines in from the half-opened wooden board. There are several chairs arranged around a wooden table. Whether their size or shape, they are irregular. The woman then sat in the largest chair with cushions placed there.

 Even though she walked a short distance, her breathing was a bit labored. The cause of her declining stamina.....I guess she is my mother after all. I don’t know how long it has been since she gave birth to me, but I wonder if it’s alright for her to move around like this. Besides, is there really no one taking care of her? It’s not like a nuclear family in modern Japan so I wonder if she had no relatives?

 A little while later, a trio of women paid us a visit. 2 young and 1 old. The 3 of them are wearing a sooty gray one-piece. In other words, in terms of status, they are probably the same as the woman holding me.

 I don’t really understand the meaning of the words being exchanged, but it looks like instructions from their elder.  The older woman has a low, monotonous voice, and she kept on talking. And whenever something happened, the two young women would stand up from their seats to take care of it.

 Even so, the atmosphere is not bright. Those three are my mother’s relatives? From the standpoint of a Japanese person, no matter what the reason for the visit is, the first thing people would do in this kind of situation would be to approach the baby and say something like  「So cutee」 while smiling, right?

 But no, maybe the culture here is different. When you think about it carefully, this is the current level of civilization. There is probably no such thing as antibiotics here, and the mortality rate among babies and preschool children would be high. In that case, it might seem that showering children with a lot of love as soon as they are born is something seen as taboo in the first place. S,o being overly attached to your son who might soon die might be seen to be something that brings a negative impact emotionally.

 One of the women entered the kitchen and seemed to be doing something. Meanwhile, the other woman from the three is still holding me and sitting on a chair without doing anything. This is almost certain. This woman looks to be my mother. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 I guess what should be done has been done. The women stood up from their seats and were about to leave the room. At that moment, the 3 women’s gaze gathered on me.

 ……what?

 I feel like they are looking at me with awfully cold gazes. But I’m just a newborn, what could I have possibly done?

 After those women left, this woman, who seems to be my mother, relaxed on the chair for a while, but once she noticed the sound of footsteps approaching, her body tensed up. The sounds of someone walking with big steps.....it’s the sound of a man’s footsteps.

 With loud footsteps, a man stepped into the room with no hesitation. The man wears a faded pea green outerwear and brown pants that are losing their color. Also, he’s wearing old leather boots. At a glance, it’s clear he has a large, muscular physique, but….

 Who is he? Judging by his appearance alone, he seems to be older to be her husband. He’s around 40 years old. On the other hand, this mother-like woman could still pass for being in her 20s. So, is he her father?

 However, they don’t look alike. Their hair is the same brown color, but it’s also the same with the women from before so it couldn’t be a good standard to judge.

 Just that, there are other common features with them. That is.....

 The look in his eyes as soon as he sees me.

 The man glared at me once and then took big strides toward the woman. They exchange a few, brief words. The woman looks sulky and turns away. It was sudden.

 A dry sound was heard. The man’s rough and bony hand struck the woman’s cheek.

 The woman was calm after being hit. It’s as if she’s already used to such things. She didn’t yell in anger or fight back, just looking at the man with contempt and hatred in her eyes. 

 The man seemed to feel better after hitting the woman once. Not wanting to concern himself with the woman any longer, he stepped into the kitchen. The woman questioned his actions and spoke to him loudly. However, the man ignored her. There were the sounds of pieces of furniture being overturned.

 After some time, the man showed up. He’s about to leave the room just like that. He held a bottle in his hand.

 The woman criticises him again. The man shouted in anger. Then, he pulled out the cork of the bottle with his bare hands and ostentatiously drank the liquid inside the bottle.

 The man then covered the bottle and left the house without saying anything. The woman's shrill cries were thrown at his back but the man didn’t care.

 This is.....that, huh.

 This is a familiar sight from my previous life, a world I knew all too well.

 But, to think I end up with the same experience again.

 What should I do? Things didn’t look good as soon as I was born in this world.  www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 3

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Previous Chapter - TOC - Next Chapter

A Deal

 I thought I heard a voice. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 I get up with a start. I look around me, but none of the purple shadows are looking at me.

「You.....name.....?」

 It sounded closer.

 Where is it?

「Here」

 I heard the sound right behind me. I turn around in a hurry. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 There was a handsome man with black hair standing there. His face looks neither Asian nor Western and as for his clothes, he’s wearing a loose, white piece of cloth wrapping around his body. That thing, those ancient Romans used to wear. Apparently, he came from that pitch-black world.

「You, who are you?」

 I managed to ask despite being flustered, at the excitement I had been waiting for.

 But, this man ignores my question and asks me a bunch of questions instead.

「Why, why do you still have your memories? Also, why are you not trying to be reborn?」

 It took a moment for me to come to understand what he was talking about.

 But once I had gathered my thoughts, I replied in a slightly aggressive tone.

「Who knows how I could still have my memories?  And as I thought, you will be reincarnated if you jump from there. But y’see, I don’t want to start my life over again」

 I flat-out said it.

 I also added a question while I’m at it.

「Are you, a God?」

 If so, then I’m lucky. This will help me stave off my boredom and I can complain about my situation. And as a result, even if this ‘soul’ is shattered into pieces, I couldn’t care less.

「Something like that. If that is how you think, then it is so」

 It was an irritating answer. Explain it clearly if my words can get through to you.

「So, what brings you here? Don’t tell me, you’re going to force me to jump from here? 」

 I thought ‘Darn it’ soon after I said it. Thinking about it carefully, I realize that the man in front of me is the only person I can communicate with in this place. In this space with no stimulation, I was about to go crazy. Like, even if I were presented with an unhappy life, wouldn’t it be better if we get along here?

 But.....

「That is half correct. I am going to ask you to jump down from here」

 Having told me to do my biggest fear, my body stiffened.

「N,no! I’m not going to be born again! There’s no way I’m going to life a shitty life again!」

「Hou?」

 The man’s handsome face distorted, and a ghastly smile appeared on his face.

「Indeed…..so you came here after experiencing something terrible」

 He thought it was a personal affair. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「You might think it was a laughing matter, but it was not so to me. It was truly a terrible life. If you’re a God, then answer me. Why did I have to experience something like that? It was one hardship after another, and I died in a traffic accident in the end. There was hardly anything good about my life」

 But, the man showed no sign of being intimidated at all.

「That makes me troubled even if you said that. I said I am ‘something like’ God but.....it is not because of me that your life turned out the way it does. Besides, it might be a joyful thing to be reborn as a human, right?」

「What?」

「You should look closely」

 At the place the man pointed at was the usual group of purple shadows was flowing.

「Not only humans, all plants and animals, and even microbes....they all are born and die. They are born in all sorts of shapes, all sorts of worlds, and their souls go through a cycle to return here again. This cycle.....the accumulation of what the souls have experienced in their world became the driving force that gives birth to a new world.....」

 I don’t really understand what he’s talking about.

 The man turned around to look at me.

「For example, let us say that you might become that rice grain earlier. If so, you might have been consumed as food shortly after being born and even before sprouting. And that small grain….a water flea. Will be scooped up by the gills of a small fish, and your life is over. Repeating such innumerable life experiences is actually common」

 I see. I understand. Certainly, as soon as you’re born you will immediately get caught up in all sorts of things and you don’t understand what’s going on since before you realize it, you’re already dead….if you think about this cycle repeating itself tens of thousands of times, I guess you could say that it’s a blessing that I was born and died as a human and still holding my consciousness and knowledge, huh?

 But, that is not something I can accept.

「Now I understand it wellー. To sum it up, it is not restricted to human as life itself is a complete shit. I’ve finally died. So I decided I will stay here like this. I definitely don’t want to suffer any more pain. Besides, it’d be unbearable to be reborn as a water flea or euglena」

 So I declared, but the man, on the other hand, just scornfully laughed at me.

「Are you sure about that? But there is no stimulation or excitement in this place, you know? Later, do you think that your mind will remain the same?」

 It makes me worry when you say it like that. Until just now, I was about to lose my sanity due to the sheer lack of stimulation.

 Humans can not endure complete numbness. I read it in a book somewhere about a psychological experiment that involves a person sleeping in a space with nothing in it. Something is then wrapped around the person’s arms to block any stimulation to their skin, and they wear a helmet to block out sound and light. And then, they ask, ‘Now then, how many hours can you last like this?’.

 There were a lot of applicants who challenged it, lured by the large sum of money but in the end, most of them couldn’t even last for 3 days. There are those who forced themselves to continue but they gradually collapse along the way. They say those people began singing, seeing hallucinations.....and in the end, some even lost the ability to walk. Sensory deprivation and isolation studies

 There is hardly any stimulation in this space. Certainly, my mind might collapse first. However, wouldn’t that be fine in its own way? That is to say, I would be able to face death in its truest meaning.

「It’s fine if it broke.  If anything, I’d rather die with the opportunity」

「That will still be fine if you can endure it until then. Instead, that is the one thing you should be worried about」

 The man pointed to the windows. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「If you are alone again, will you one day jump off from there, unable to endure it?」

 I was at a loss for words.

 Right now, I don’t think I’m going to reincarnate, no matter how painful it is. It is best if I can go mad in this place, at this rate. But I wonder about that. I wonder if there is a possibility that I would fall off here after I lost my mind by some chance?

「Then, you will stop me from falling」

「That is not my duty」

 An immediate refusal. Well, that’s obvious.

「So, what did you come here for?」

 Whether I like it or not, if there is the other option, then that’s what I’ll have to do. I might just fall from here if I were left alone here. In that case, there is no need to bother calling out to me.

「……I was thinking of making a deal with you」

「A deal?」

 I leaned forward.

「That’s right......you said earlier that you definitely don’t want to have a repeat of an unhappy life, right?」

「Yeah」

「Then.....it is worth trying if it is a happy life. That’s what you’re thinking, right?」

「Theoretically, yes, but it’s impossible, isn’t it? What’s so happy about if I become a water flea?」

「That, that is what I am talking about」

 The man’s face turned serious, his tone lowered, and he began speaking to me.

「How about being reborn as a human again, next?」

「That doesn’t sound attractive to me 」

「Do you really think so? A wonderful family, friends, or lover…..a job you found satisfaction in, or the joy of traveling in a new land….food melts in your tongue, or a warm bed. No matter which one of them, I think they are far more wonderful experiences, far better than being here, right」

「The problem with that is, whether those can be realized, right?」

 Being born as a human, most of us lead a worthless life, you know. But maybe God doesn’t understand that.

「Yes, you can. That is, if you are born with favorable conditions」

「You think I’m going to get tricked with that? I understand that. I have nothing. Even if you just slightly adjust the conditions, I would still end up leading a miserable life. Also, let’s say that maybe I get reincarnated, wouldn’t all my memories disappear as well if I jump off from there?」

 The man smiled again when I pointed that out. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「That’s right. Usually, memories, forms, and everything will disappear.  And also, even if you jump to a world somewhere…..unfortunately, I can not even mark you as ‘you’. At best, your memories can stay, or you can be reborn in a human form but.....anything beyond that cannot be done. So, I cannot help you to..say, born in a royal or noble family or growing up to be a handsome man from the start」

 See, I told you so. He confessed himself.

「But.....even if I cannot do anything, it might be possible for you」

 What? What did he just say?

「You might not be aware, but your current state is what we call 『World’s Fragment』」

「World’s.....Fragment?」

「If you wish for something strongly, one of your wishes might come true. That much soul power is concentrated inside you」

 Soul power?

Is that it? Is it because I went around crushing all the other purple shadows? Or is it because I am able to retain my consciousness and memories in this place?

「I, am monitoring this realm to the best of my ability whenever possible.  And then, I found out about you by chance」

「What for?」

「That’s why I told you, to make a deal」

 The man didn’t answer and instead, this time he pressed toward me with a serious expression.

「Let me tell you again, you will not get this chance again, you know. I will withdraw from here if you refuse. And we will never meet again」

 Although it’s for the sake of negotiation, he put pressure on me. If I refuse him, I will either go mad in this space or fall into another world in search of stimulation.

「You will jump down from the window I designated. In exchange for that, I will help you be reborn into an existence equivalent to a human and let you maintain your memories」

「But......what does that mean for me?」

「Listen to my explanation to the end. There is a power to become the 『World’s Fragment』 inside you. With your memories and human body, you should also be able to exercise that power」

「That, what is this Fragment of the World you are talking about?」

「Right, to explain it so you will understand, it is some sort of a psychic ability」

 I see.

 I don’t really understand it well, but I guess I could be reborn as a human with some kind of psychic ability. If I could do that, then indeed, I would be in a much more advantageous position than a normal human. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「Your memories and body shape.....it is in human form, but it is not completely maintained. In the first place, human’s memories are something that will start to fade over time even if you leave them alone. Even so, it is an advantage just being able to maintain your ego in this space. Later, it should be enough if I just add a bit more force. The problem is.....」

 The man continues speaking, assuming that I’m going to accept the deal.

「It is the physical body. There is nothing that can be done about this. I shall let you reincarnate into something that has a close resemblance to humans. You need to fully stay conscious and not lose yourself. If you don’t, then it is not strange to turn into a monkey. If things go well, you could become a person who looks like you」

「I’m not too attached to my appearance, though」

「Even so, everything will collapse in the blink of an eye when you make light of the image. That is how dangerous a reincarnation is」

 I more or less understood our talk.

 However, what’s important is the next part.

「I think that is also important, but the main point is what happens after that, right? What kind of psychic ability will I get? Also, where do you plan on reincarnating me?」

「Aah, I’m sorry」

 The man’s expression relaxed.

「You will possess an ability, but I can not predict what that is. If I had to say it, it depends on how strong you wish for it……what was your wish when you were alive? Try saying it」

 A wish I previously had, huh?

 There were all sorts of things.

 First, when I was a kid, I was always scared of household violence. Following my parents’ divorce, I spent every day just feeling lonely and miserable. I thought, ‘If only there was someone, anyone in this world who could be by my side’.

 But I soon realized. That it was impossible.

 There are several reasons. For example, when I was looking for a girlfriend or a wife.....just look at my family. We only have debts, and there was also someone who became a criminal. Why would someone be interested in dating me when I obviously had those bad conditions surrounding me? No one would want to step on an obvious landmine.

 It’s not just about my family. My relationships with my friends were pretty much worthless as I could only build a shallow friendship so in the end, we part ways after a quarrel or they end naturally.

 In short, I continued to wish for a 「connection」 but, in reality, I just ended up even more unhappy. Perhaps it might have gone better if I just acted more selfishly rather than acting with a strong sense of duty each time.  At the time when both of my parents - who had sacrificed so much for me - parted ways, I somehow tried to support them the best I could, perhaps out of an insignificant sense of pride. Even though deep inside, I already felt despair. In reality, I didn’t get any reward in the end.

 What I needed was the power to 「Cut」. But what I got in the end was my life being cut off first.1

 Why did I try so hard? I thought of to 「Add」 somehow. When I looked around, I saw people doing better than me.  I was envious of them. If only I could graft their happy life and time onto my unhappy life, that would be wonderful. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「……to cut……」

 It seems like I’ve been too absorbed in his question, and I became lost in thought. And, I inadvertently said out loud what I had been thinking.

「Hmm?」

「I want to.....to cut. I want to cut off everything, all that entangles me and obstructs my freedom」

「Hou」

「I have, always suffered from the things that I lack. So, I don’t want to be on the side of losing anymore. I’m going to be on the snatching side」

「Isn’t that fine」

 The man lightly nodded while smirking.

「If that is your genuine feeling, I am sure you would probably be able to get that power」

「You are sure? Aren’t you supposed to do something about it?」

「I would like to do it if I could, but it is impossible. You have awakened the power as 『World’s Fragment』....this is not the domain of any god of any world」

 Huh?

 Certainly....……I thought as I looked around the countless windows lined up in this space.....what if each and every window here connected to different worlds? It might be difficult for an existence that is merely a god of a world somewhere among these worlds to control what is happening in a place outside their domain.

「So, you don’t know what kind of ability that might awaken?」

「In fact, not only do I not know in what form or when it will awaken, I do not know whether any ability will awaken in the first place」

 What the. Isn’t that a disadvantageous bet for me?

 But, the man added, I guess he read my mind.

「Nevertheless, there should be a high probability of you awakening an ability.....it’s not enough to recreate the world itself, but it seems to possess something that allows it to manipulate a part of it freely. So there should be no need to be discouraged」

 After saying that much, the man gave me another intense look. There’s a strangely intimidating air about it. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「So, I guess it is about time. You need to decide now. Whether you are going to do as I told you or not」

「Wait. Before that, I hadn’t heard about what you want me to do yet, y’know?」

 The man answered without a change in his expression when I pointed that out.

「I already explained it to you. Jump out of the window I designated. That is all. If I were to add anything other than that.....I want you to live however you wish with the ability you obtained. That is about it」

「……that’s all?」

「That’s all」

 How would something like that be of any benefit to this man?

「I can’t see your purpose in doing this. What kind of significance does this action have?」

「I cannot explain that. And I have no intention to. However, my agreement with you lasts until you jump off from here. I also cannot guarantee what will happen after you are reborn. Conversely, I do not want to restrict you, nor can I do so. So, the deal we made will not have a direct effect on you after you are reborn」

「And you want me to believe that?」

「That is right. That is all I can say. Only, know that we normally cannot weave lies into agreements we have made. Especially not in a place like this. The existence of ‘God’ you speak of.....is different from humans」

「Hmmm……」

 I don’t really understand it, but he said I hold something called ‘World’s Fragment’ or something, and I wonder if there is a benefit for me to just be reborn to his designated world?

「I don’t really understand it」

「You will not be at a disadvantage even if you do not understand, yes?」

「I guess you’re right」

 Indeed. I should know everything I need to know right now.

「Fine then……I’ll do it. Which window?」

 Going mad in this place is fine.  Everything will really be over in that case. But let’s think about it carefully. Let’s say I experienced life once again and then died. If that happens, I will just return to this place, right? If at that time I still have my memories, then I will continue to stay in this place, but if not, then I will have already forgotten about everything.....in other words, I would have died mentally, just as I wished. After that, I would just become an euglena in a world somewhere.

 The man nodded at my defiance.

「Allow me to thank you for your decision. And I pray that the world you are going to after this will be better than the last. .....now then, the world you have to go to, is that window」

 I really have no idea how to differentiate them.  The windows are lined up and are in similar shapes, but the man pointed at a certain window without hesitation.

「Is that okay?」

「Yes」

 I slowly walked to that window, even though there was nothing else to do. As expected, I’m feeling scared, though I don’t know why. It’s difficult to explain but I feel like my current self is going to disappear. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 I arrive in front of the window. The man follows me from behind. However, that’s all he does.  I guess he’s going to tell me if I stand in front of the wrong window ,but he doesn’t do anything else. He doesn’t rush me either.

「What is the matter?」

 The man calmly asked when he saw me slowly turning around.

「Nothing……」

 It’s difficult to explain this feeling. Is this all really enough?

「Hold your wish strongly inside you. That is all I can say」

 Yeah. I just have to go with it once I decide.

 I took a deep breath. I don’t know whether there is air or not, but I did it anyway. Then I slap my cheeks with both hands. I brace myself and turn around once more.

「Goodbye then」

 The man nodded without saying anything. I also look forward and take a step.

 I cross over the line of the window frame. Even though the scenery hasn’t changed, I feel a stinging sensation on my skin. Even though I hadn’t jumped off yet. Sure enough, your existence starts to get stripped of little by little when you come to this side. Observing my left and right, there are countless purple shadows just like before, but they continue to shatter into tiny fragments as they rain down, falling lower and lower.

 I looked forward. It felt like seeing the sun behind a cloudy sky. But everything is purple. I wonder what is beyond the sky? I feel like there is nothing there.

 And then at my feet. I saw a dazzling light, but I couldn’t make out anything more detailed than that. If possible, I wish I could see what kind of world I’m going to jump into in advance, but, oh well, it can’t be helped.

 Being too relaxed might not be a good idea. The silhouette of what makes me who I am quickly crumbles.

 I made up my mind.

 I bent my knees to prepare myself, and the next moment I stretched my whole body, and threw myself to the world spreading below. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

Koko De Arifureta Monogatari - Chapter 2

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Previous Chapter - TOC - Next Chapter

The World After Death

 ……this is, I wonder where is this place?

 A strange scene spread out before me. It’s an unbelievably wide great hall. The floor is polished and shining, and there’s not even a speck of dust on the floor. What’s projected on the floor is a world bathed in shades of purple. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 On one side of this spacious room are countless windows lined up. Measuring them by eye, I guess the size is so big that they can easily let a single person pass through. Perhaps, even larger creatures could pass without an issue. There are countless such windows, too many to count. And reflected on the floor of this spacious room is the color of the sky beyond the window. It was a shade of purple, making me uneasy.

 Countless shadows were rushing towards those windows. They all have the same purple color but their silhouettes vary, from something similar to humans, rats, dogs, or even insects or plants. They were rushing one after another, throwing themselves with great force from the windows.

 I followed where the source of the mass of purple color came from with my eyes back to the wall right behind me. Parallel to the horizontal rows of windows lined up, this too has no end in sight.  The wall is pitch black, or rather it is a void of pure darkness. Just from its look, the wall that I had my back on was transparent glass, and on the other side of the wall was an abyss of total darkness world. The floor also cut off right at the start of the wall and even when I peered down, it was so dark I couldn’t tell how deep it was.

 It was such a transparent wall but it seemed to be one-way. A purple shadow would suddenly rise from the darkness right at my feet, rising up with a faint flicker of motion. They don’t turn back, just continuing forward silently with hollow expressions. And then once again, they would fall down through one of the windows once they reach it. Taking a closer look, their silhouettes collapse as they fall and turn into grainy particles like sand in a sandbox.

 Even so, they are surging toward the window in great numbers but strangely quiet. Experiencing neither hot nor cold. Pain or pleasure. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 So, what kind of figure would ‘I’ look like while looking at them?

 ……「me」?

 Suddenly, I look at my own hands. They were purple. Just like a heat haze, the silhouette sometimes blurs.  Looks like I’m wearing clothes. Until just now.....「until just now」?

 My memories finally return at this moment.  That’s right, I was sent flying by a truck.

 I was walking back home on the last third of December, in Tokyo, Japan. I dropped the pocket watch from the flea market I bought the other day.  And because of picking up my pocket watch, I didn’t realize the approaching truck.

 Huh? That time, I’m sure the light was green. I also walked on the crosswalk, right? So that means, the truck back then ignored the traffic light as the driver fell asleep at the wheel or something?

 Oh well, whatever. That aside, right now the problem is, where I am. I don’t remember I’ve ever heard or saw a place like this in my life. In the first place, why was I in a place like this even though I was sent flying by a truck? Wouldn’t I normally wake up on a bed in the hospital?

 So.....that means, that’s how it is?

 Maybe because I had been spacing out until now that my mind felt hazy as if covered in clouds, but I finally managed to see things clearly.

 Who am I? Saeki You, 36 years old, single, male. I was a temporary worker who just got fired.

 And then.....that 「me」 seems to have died. My face was hit by a large truck coming at me at high speed and didn’t brake. I didn’t even have time to feel pain, and I must have died instantly.

 I started to get a little angry because of that. What was the driver thinking, driving recklessly like that?

 But soon, that anger disappeared like mist. That’s right. To begin with, I had no reason left to live. I had no wife or children and both of my parents passed away before me. The only people left were my older brother who was in debt and my younger brother who was in jail. And there were no friends or acquaintances left with whom I had relationships. I was not doing a job that I love doing, nor did I have a hobby I was passionate about. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 In a sense, it was a natural destiny for me to die. The world after death is this quiet, and if I knew that there would be no pain or sorrow, I would have come here sooner. At any rate, my body was not in good condition. I have suffered from stomach ulcers more than once or twice due to stress from social interactions and my job. But if I’m here, I’m free from worries. If I must say something, I felt a slight feeling of anger that my life was over without many good things happening to me.

 But, when I felt that, another part of me started to get angry.

 My goodness. I thought that death would be the end, and that’s why I put up with my life each day trying to get past my hopeless life. But look at this scene now.

 Countless shadows creep up from the darkness. Then they jumped through the windows over there. Could this possibly be.....a place for  「Reincarnation」? In other words, if I were to also walk towards those windows and jump from there, I would end up being reincarnated somewhere.

 Don’t joke around! I finally died. I was afraid of dying when I was alive. And I would probably feel like that no matter how many times I was reincarnated. And when I’m afraid of dying, I would endure the pain of living every day. But look at that. I will be reincarnated even if I die. And the memory of my past life would most likely be erased.

 I would make the same mistake, the same sufferings all over again, die again, and live again. I don’t want to do that!

 I sat down on the spot with a thud.  I’m not going to move even an inch. That’s what I decided.

 If anyone wants to live again, they can do whatever they want. But, I’m done with that. Being born and living again, I don’t want to do that. I don’t care what the result will be. No matter how boring it is, I will stay here until I decay. Can I - who already died - die again? If that is possible I will stay here.

 But still, this is such a boring place.

 Ah, I see, watching the countless different shadows coming and going helps stave off boredom at first. But, this group of shadows, every single one of them has a blank look on their face, and all they do is move forward. They also don’t make a sound, just continuing to climb up silently. It was too monotonous. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 So, I called out a man-looking shadow who was about to pass in front of me.

「Oi! Hello? Hello? Ni hao!」

 But, he still shows no sign of stopping, even when I called out to him. So I try to go past him and flail my arms and legs. However, the man still rushes forward without stopping.

 I quickly protected my face with both of my hands. I felt a heavy sensation on the arms in front of my face. How should I put it.....it was like forcefully shoving my arms into a loosely packed sandbag.

 Suddenly, I look around. The man was no longer in front of me. Looking back, I saw the remains of that man with part of his face missing and the color of his silhouette getting pale, but he continued to move forward without any change.

 ……did I, just do something bad to him?

 My body feels blurry sometimes, but there is a sense of completeness inside me compared to before. I don’t know what it is, but in any case, I have a hunch that 「I took something away from that man」.

 But, that man continued to move towards the window and fell. And his figure, just like the others, turns into grains of sand. So, whether I got in their way or not, there would eventually be no change in the final result.

 Un, let’s just be practical about it.

 There is no other entertainment in this place. Also, there are only dead creatures without ego in this place. So, it shouldn’t matter if I do whatever I like. By chance, I saw a beast that looks like a male lion approaching from the other side. Of course, he doesn’t have anything to do with me, just, simply walking toward the windows.

 Yosh. This is where my punch came in.

 I strongly hit my fist against the lion. It’s like hitting a sand castle, my arm easily drilled through the lion’s face. And once again, I felt a heavy sensation when hitting, as though it was a tightly packed sand. The lion didn’t resist even when I hit or kicked it, not even looking back. He ended up scattering as grains of sand across the window.

 I looked and I saw a grain of rice floating in the air, without legs or anything. It’s like it was slowly drifting toward the windows. I try grabbing it with my hand. When I touched it with my hand, it left a slight impact and turned into fine dust. That dust continues to slowly drift toward the window.

 This time, there was the figure of a young woman. She’s wearing a suit and a tight skirt.....could she be a college student job-hunting? How pitiful. However, this is a rare opportunity. I lied down at her feet. As expected, if you’re a man you should do this kind of thing at least once. But, just as I thought, she didn’t care about it at all even when I peeked inside her skirt.

 So, I carefully reach out with my hand. As I put my hands together as if pulling a thin membrane, the back of the skirt alone crumbled apart and disintegrated into dust. While chasing after her like that, I slowly strip her clothes. I’ve already confirmed that their body will crumble if I stick my hand too deep.

 As a result, a captivating figure that was pleasing to the eyes appeared, but it meant nothing to the current me. There is no pain nor pleasure in this place. And there is hardly any desire. I see, I certainly understand sexual desire in terms of knowledge, but there’s no such thing as a body in this place to reduce that desire so it’s natural. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

 Nevertheless, I’m also an awful person when I calm down and carefully think about it. Looking at the naked body of a woman who unfortunately passed away at a young age....well, the person herself didn’t realize it and there’s no point in worrying about it.

 In the meantime, the woman also disappeared beyond the window.

 It’s a little scary, but  I wonder what it looks like on the other side of the window?

 I stood close by the window and first touched the window frame. Un, this is fine. I don’t want to get pushed by the other purple shadowy figures and inadvertently fall off. In that aspect, it seems like I’m going to be able to grab the floor and the wall.

 I lightly moved my line of sight below while putting both of my hands on the window frame from behind. In contrast to the cliff on the other side, there was a dazzling, warm light that could be seen from far below.

 I want to look a little more, so I stretched my neck a little trying to see a bit more.....but, that ‘a bit more’ felt dangerous. There is a small amount of space to stand on the other side of the window frame, but it appears that even if you don’t fall down, once your body leaves the window, it will immediately start to collapse. This is going to make it difficult for me to casually observe the world below.

 Now then, there’s nothing left to do. And unfortunately, I’m not feeling sleepy either. I have no desire, nothing to wish more and if I could just lie on the ground in this languid state for eternity, I wouldn’t need anything else but, for some reason, my consciousness has become pointlessly clear.

 And so I sit there.....how long was it, no, how many days has it been? Before I died, I should have picked up my pocket watch but, where did it go? But even if I have it in my hand, there’s the chance that it won’t work. I wonder how much time has passed since then? So boring. Nah, it’s more than just boredom, I want some excitement.

 But, when it comes to the sole excitement in this place, there are only the purple shadows moving in a straight line. I headed toward those groups and dived with all my might. I slammed my fist and delivered kicks to them. I scattered countless sand just like children playing in the sand.

 It was a waste. But on the contrary, it feels like.....I don’t know, it’s as if my body has become denser or as if my head was packed with something.....the hazy feeling I had when I first came to this place is starting to fade away.

 I gave up.

 In any case, let’s not do anything.

 It was the moment when I thought like that and sat down. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com

「……you…are.....still conscious……?」