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Compassion Is Not For Others' Benefit
It was the afternoon, the third day after Myluc left. Having no particular task assigned to me, I crouch down on the stairs in the courtyard and look up at the blue sky. Big white clouds are floating. Today is the seventh day of the Jasper month, so it’s already early summer. The sunlight is dazzling.
It’s about time I could use my ability. But, I don’t know the exact time. There is no notification saying ‘Ability available to use now’. So, I’m thinking of grasping what time it is available to use roughly. What methods should I use to grasp it? I suppose I should judge it by the position of the sun, after all. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
Well, the best way to be sure of it is to try it out. Just because I couldn’t activate it doesn’t mean there are any side effects. Then I should head to that spot right away. I stood up and headed to the stable, where there should not be anyone there.
Why the stable? That’s because I’ve been to the garbage dump two days in a row, and I was targeted by Wicax yesterday. So I just want to change places for some reason.
Once I stepped inside, as expected, it was dim. The horses are not inside, and the entrance is also closed. It is only separated by thin wooden boards, but it feels like an enclosed space here. The air is a little stagnant, and it’s cold here since there is no direct sunlight. Also, it smelled like horses. It’s cool, but I don’t like the atmosphere of this place somehow.
There should be some insects here, too. Still, there are probably not many cockroaches but.....oh look, there’s one jumping in the shadow of that wooden pillar. If possible, I would like to secure two or more with the same skill. I plan to steal the same skills for 2 days from them after all.
I’d like to get a bug net if possible.....but I don’t think I will be able to get the materials to make it myself, and someone who can make it is.....ah, if it’s woodworking, then someone like Wicax can probably make it. But, I don’t think he will make it even if I ask. Even if I’m wrong and he will make it, it feels like I’m going to owe him something strange.
Can’t be helped. I’m going to catch this guy with my hands……
「Yo」
A voice called out from behind me, and I stopped moving. No, there’s no need to panic. I was just trying to catch bugs. Isn’t that the kind of thing children does?
「Ah, hello」
There was Wicax standing behind me. Furthermore, he’s holding woodworking tools. There is also a small knife that looks sharp. Isn’t he too prepared? Don’t tell me, he’s going to make the bug net even before I asked him? Are you going to use that small knife to shave wood or my rib? www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
……no, no, the reason I only notice something like that is that I’m too conscious about it. It’s not a good thing to think everything in that way first, just because I was almost killed by Punos last year.
「Wha, what are you doing today?」
But still, I can’t help but feel that Wicax has a vicious atmosphere around him right now. Naturally, my voice became higher.
「What, are you saying I gotta be crazy to come here」
His voice was strangely low.
He put down something heavy in front of the stable door. If he placed something that heavy in front of the door, the current me wouldn’t be able to move it even a little bit.
The stable’s door is designed to be opened by pulling. Otherwise, there might be an accident when someone suddenly opens the door and hits the people passing by in front of the door. Incidentally, there is a wide space for air circulation at the top of the stable, but there is only a small gap at the bottom.
……did I get locked in?
「You, what are you doing in this kind of place?」
Wicax slowly approaches while saying that. He is still holding the small knife in his hand.
No, no way. I mean, this is still in the housing facility, you know? It’s true I can’t get out but people outside can hear me if I shout, you know?
「Nothing」
Even when I answered him like that, he still approached me with big strides, stepping on the straw at his feet.
Ah, if you want to bully someone, then go ahead and do it. But, that knife is a problem. What would you do if I die?
「Hey……stop」
Wicax didn’t stop even when I told him to.
Not good.
「Help……waa!」
The moment I tried to shout for help. Wicax started to run and jumped at me. I immediately jumped sideways to avoid him. Really, why do I have such bad luck with barns?
I really don’t have time to think about such things. I am 3 years old. The other person is a well-developed 10-year-old boy. There’s no way to win, either in power or speed. Moreover, he is also holding a weapon. If that’s the case, there’s only the head left. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
「Why, you do, something like this?」
I can’t think of better words to say. It’s fine to just buy some time. It would be better if I could persuade him to stop.
「Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!」
Wicax went completely mad. It seems like he doesn’t have the composure to bully me secretly. He’s yelling at the top of his lungs. How unfortunate, looks like I can’t stall for time or persuade him.
「I know! It’s me! I’m a leftover! Even among slaves!」
His voice made me stiffen for a moment.
This is, a feeling I know too well.
「Even you.....you look down on me, right? Oh? You’re so smart huh!」
「That’s not」
「Shut up I say! .....damn it, even that Dorol, made fun of me….」
He screamed.
After breathing heavily for some time, he began to mutter in a low voice filled with dark emotion.
「Yesterday......I feel relieved. I was honestly relieved! Even when I was caught kicking you, I didn’t get sent to the punishment cell or reported.....! But, after that, what do you think happened?」
「I, I don’t know」
「I was scolded the entire time.....it would have been quick if it were that old man but.....those two guards」
Sensei is an understanding adult. He won’t say anything unnecessary. That means.
「They were spouting a bunch of messed-up, annoying crap. They said I was trash, even worse than a 3-year-old brat! The older you are, the lower your status around here, from now on you have to bow to Noor and live like that, he said I only get told this crap because I don’t know my place, can you believe that!」
Aah……
Those two guards, I haven’t really had much interaction with them two. Myluc also hasn’t assigned any important roles to me. And despite his scary face, Jusa is surprisingly kind. Sensei is also the same. But those two guards looked like the kinds of guards you can find anywhere. I’m sure they are not that smart either.
Perhaps it was intended as an extension of their work. In other words, they gave him a harsh lesson by hitting his inferiority complex. The experience of being sold as a slave is usually enough to shatter a child’s self-esteem into pieces. That is why there is no punishment more effective than whipping. However, it’s hard to say there wasn’t some twisted enjoyment in picking on the weak. Yes, normal people look down on slaves. It’s not that they were particularly bad people. They were just not that smart. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
Embarrassment becomes a brake only as long as the person themself thinks it can still be undone. On the other hand, it will only serve as a fuel if you make them think it is already too late. Wicax has crossed the line.
「I was agonizing all night. Do I, have to bow my head to a brat like you just to be able to get by in life?」
He was aware of it. I thought he was just behaving arrogantly, acting as the leader of the slaves. I was naive. He had noticed it long ago. All the slaves at the same age as him had been sold and left, he’s being left behind. Myluc’s gaze also became cold. His arrogance was only the other side of his deep insecurity. That’s natural. Although it was obvious, I didn’t think too deeply about it. .....the more light shines, the darker the shadows become.
To begin with, shortly after I arrived here, there was bullying. I just didn’t care about it. Would you normally let a 2-year-old kid wash the dishes with cold water? When I think about it, I have been watched by Wicax since then.
「Hey, what do you think? Being treated as unnecessary trash by your parents and being sold to a place like this. But after growing up a bit, your face soon got covered in freckles. In the end, you got left behind even in this housing facility. No matter how hard I try, I’m going to be a throwaway slave for the rest of my life. Why does this happen? What the hell was I supposed to do?」
Life is unreasonable. And it’s unfair. Furthermore, it is mostly one-sided.
So my answer to his question is 「It’s hopeless」. But what would saying it even accomplish? If I said something like, I’m no different from you, even if I’m somewhat smarter, I have the same situation with you, I wonder if it can console him? I still have a chance of being bought by a noble house. Even if that’s mostly not the case, I still have the knowledge and image of my previous life in this life, where the science is much more advanced, in addition, I have the strongest ability in the world. Any consolation will just become a lie to him.
But.....
「So, I don’t care what happens.....it’ll be even isn’t it, if I also die after killing someone.....you, don’t you dare move, okay?」
Wicax reaches out his arm, trying to grab me. I took a step back to avoid it.
「I told you not to move!」
He loudly shouted. Among the echoes of his voice, I heard faint footsteps. Perhaps, help will arrive just a little more. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
「You’re making fun of me, huh! Every single one of you!」
But he doesn’t understand. Even if he killed me here, it wouldn’t accomplish anything. He’s not fully aware of his own emotions. It’s not jealousy, it’s just a lack of self-reliance.
So I can’t tell him something like ‘Throw away your dependence and live by enduring it all’. It doesn’t matter if I die. In a sense, it’s certainly okay to kill me. Only, no matter what he cries out or where, the world will offer no answer to his questions. If you’re going to despair about your situation, it’s better to just do it straightforwardly rather than foolishly venting your anger. Although that’s just my opinion.
In any case, such a reason is useless now, in this situation. The only problem now is how to escape his hands.
If I jump back, I could buy myself some time, but there’s nowhere to go. Even if I move left or right, he will catch me in no time. We are glaring at each other right now but it’s only a matter of time. Should I just charge straight through?
I lightly lowered my hips while stepping back. I grab a bundle of hays with both of my hands while gathering strength in my knees. I fixedly stare at Wicax, who sis lowly closing in on me. At one point, he suddenly advanced. Aiming for that moment, I threw the hay in my right hand straight at his face.
I thought, surely, he would brush it off with one hand, but contrary to my expectation, I had succeeded in robbing him of his vision for an instant. Using that opportunity, I slipped past him.....but I fell over. I feel pressure on my left ankle.
I don’t think there was a problem with my tactic. It is only a simple difference in physical aspects. The physical ability of a 3-year-old was not enough to gain enough speed, even to slip past his side. And so, this is the result, his left hand grabbed my left ankle.
What to do now?
「No matter what, no matter.....I, I’ll be the one who do it.....that bastard Dorol, I’m not a coward.....what should I do to him....」
He’s totally lost it. Is that really the face of a 10-year-old kid?
Reflexively, I tried to throw the hay in my left hand, but stopped myself. It’s no use.
Wicax is already straddling me firmly and putting his weight on my body. At this point, there’s no escape from him just by robbing him of his vision. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
In that case.....it should be about time I can use it but..... my only trump card? However, what would happen if Wicax disappears here? I’m sure it will cause quite a fuss. Anyhow, it is unavoidable that it will be a huge problem, but it will be bad if I’m the one who becomes the 「assailant」 here. That said, I can’t afford to just say that and do nothing about this.
At that moment, my eyes turned toward something above Wicax’s head. There are some grains on the ceiling. No, that was.....I wonder if that’s a small camel cricket?
In any case, it is either I die, or Wicax dies. So, if there is a possibility that both of us can survive.. But, isn’t the risk too high? No, let’s do this. I concentrated and suppressed the fear and discomfort that filled my chest.
There was a rush of buried footsteps to the stable. They try to push the door at the entrance but it will not open easily since it was blocked by some luggage. Still, it’s just a matter of time until the adults rush in. And there was no sign of him giving up.
Once again, I grasped the hay in my left hand tightly. I decided on the rule in my mind. 『Return to my original body once I’m about to die』...I want to avoid getting crushed or something, just like that .
「Damn it......! I wanted to torment you a bit more.....can’t be helped then, already.....」
Above me, Wicax held the knife with both of his hands in reverse and raised it.
「Die!」
At that moment, I threw the remaining hay in my hand at him. Dry stalks flutter and scatter.
Then, I felt a vibration all over my whole body. And the feeling of something hard hitting the stone floor.
When I look up, I see a soft and plump person holding that hard object. That person is sitting there with an expression as if he doesn’t understand what has happened.
Then there was a particularly loud sound bam!. I jump up in surprise. Strangely, my body is light. The next instant - my vision that is just above the ground - was being covered by the wooden wall of this place.
When I turned around, I saw many giants rushing towards me. They are talking about something. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. .....wait, do they?
Eh? Just what was I doing again?
……oh well, whatever.
It’s nice and cool here, it’s dim, and it feels comfortable.
Let’s take it easy here. www.ihavesinnedtranslation.com
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